Let's Try Something Else
by M.D2ne
Summary: [Summary] G1:AU:BU:CU:LOL: This fanfic contains the rare aspects found in TF fiction! More details inside. Now with Chapter Another One!
1. Introduction: LMAO

**Let's Try Something Else / Common Aspects**

Brought to you by a certified nut job.

_Summary:_ G1:AU:BU:CU:LOL: This fanfic contains the rare aspects found in Transformers fiction, such as the Decepticons, seekers, Megatron, Starscream, Thunderwarp, Skycracker, Prowl, Jazz, Raoul, SunswipeandSidestreaker, gender change, robots becoming humans, romance, action, drama, giant alien robots and is less than meets the eye. In fact, it's a story about the most popular Transformer in all of TF history: Huffer.

_Warning:_ This fanfic may and/or can offend many kinds of people. Don't read beyond this line if you are easily offended. The under qualified writer will not be responsible for you (the reader), being offended beyond this sentence. If you ARE offended before this sentence, the writer is deeply sorry for your making you angry/sad/hurt/cry/cut/shoulder's hurt.

_Rating:_ May or may definitely contain swear words, impossible but grossly imaginable robotic sex, naked humans, naked Transformers, and other things that don't wear clothes. Not recommended for pregnant mothers, the intellectually challenged, teenagers with obnoxious streaks who repeat memes, the general public and anyone with ass burgers syndrome. It can be declared that this fanfic does NOT contain homosexual references, because robots are not homos –cough-_unless they get turned into a humans_-cough-

_Copyrights:_NO ONE OWNS THE TRANSFORMERS EXCEPT TAKARA AND HASBRO (and Tomy?). SRSYL. Unless there is an OC, than that OC belongs to me.

…Yes, yes there is. It's a Huffer X OC fanfic. Shit, the 'bot's going to get laid.

_Author's Notes:_ Forget Huffer, he's an annoying little-

_On with the fanfic? _Y/N

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**Introduction : LMAO**

_(One day outside the Ark (where no Autobot can swear), Optimus Prime is playing basket ball with his troops, while everyone else with duties reluctantly does them.)_

OPTIMUS PRIME: It's a good day to play b-ball, especially when all your opponents are shorter than you.

BUMBLEBEE / CLIFFJUMPER / HUFFER / BRAWN / HEIGHT-CHALLENGED AUTOBOT: Aw, lug nuts!

JET/SKY/PLANE/FIRE: Can we play, Optimus?

OMEGA SUPREME: Omega's participation allowed?

OPTIMUS PRIME: Sorry Omega, your foot will destroy the court, and- _(looks at the Autobot's chauffeur / Starscream's ex-B.B.F.)_ …You. Go sort out your legal name.

SKYFIRE: Well, in the papers I'm called-

OPTIMUS PRIME: Let's play!

_((A/N: I don't care about the Autobots lives, so-!) One day inside the Nemesis, we hear someone bellowing for everyone's favourite Decepticon second-in-command…)_

MEGATRON: STARSCREAM!!!

STARSCREAM:_(Starscream prances into Megatron's room like a little fairy)_ Like, O.M.G. Megsy! What's wrong _NOW?!_

MEGATRON: You've pissed me off once again!!!

STARSCREAM: Look honey, if it's about the Construction's failed experiment-

MEGATRON: I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT EXPERIMENT: MARY SUE!

STARSCREAM: Geez, curb the Caps-Lock, n00b!

MEGATRON: I'm talking about Operation: Human Infiltration!

STARSCREAM: (Like, wow, you're so creative with the names of your operations). Look Megsy, if-

MEGATRON: MY NAME IS NOT **MEGSY!!!**

STARSCREAM: Yeah, well it was a success, you big meanie! You wanted Skywarp to be turned into a human so that boob can infiltrate the human's lifestyle and find their weaknesses, am I right?!

MEGATRON: He is a boob! In fact, he has _two!_

_(Megatron steps aside to reveal a humanised Skywarp. Wearing black and purple, the hot leggy brunette's measurements are 38-26-36 and is very desirable to the imagination.)_

STARSCREAM: Well, he's human!

SKYWARP:_(Looking at his own breasts)_ Um, 'cons, if I can I say somethin'?

MEGATRON: 'He's' a FEMALE human!

STARSCREAM: Nothing wrong with that!

SKYWARP:_(Feeling his large well-endowed chest appendages)_ I can't see my feet…(can I inflate them?)_ (Takes a deep breath)_

MEGATRON: He's a MALE Transformer! How did this happen?!

STARSCREAM: Why don't you call the Constructicons and find out instead of shouting at me all the time! Why do you always do this to me! This isn't part of my contract-!

MEGATRON:_(Turns a monitor on, with Scrapper coincidentally on the other end of the line) _Why is Skywarp a female?!

STARSCREAM:_(Building up a bitch-fit)_ I mean, I do my job, I challenge and prove Megatron's power by trying to seize it…what am I doing wrong?!_ (Starts crying energon tears)_

SCRAPPER: Megatron, our research tells us that female humans are more popular than males, and if we are to infiltrate their society-

MEGATRON: Enough of your scientific gobble-de-gook! Starscream, send out our spy to a human populace immediately-!_ (Looks around for the red seeker)_ Starscream? Where is he?!

SKYWARP: Starscream ran back to his room to cry you a river, boss.

_(Megatron turns on his communicator to hear Linkin Park playing softly in the background. Megatron catches the sounds of Incoherent snivelling, whimpering and a metal hand pulling tissues to wipe his nose.)_

STARSCREAM: Oh, Megatron-! (sniff) Why don't you understand?! (hiccup)

LINKIN PARK: Tired of being what you want me to be, feeling so empty…

STARSCREAM: (sniff) I'm only (sob) want to (honk) see you happy! (BAWL!!!)

LINKIN PARK: Ev'ry step that I take, is another mistake to yoooou-

STARSCREAM: Oh, Chester, you're the only one who understand me! Megatron (sniff) you complete me! I love you…you big hunk of sexy metal-

_(At this point both Megatron and Skywarp is greatly disturbed, and Megatron turns his communicator off for the sake of their sanity.)_

MEGATRON: I, er…I'll call Soundwave, to er…get Thundercracker to (go pick you up…) _(Quickly turns away)_

SKYWARP:_(Looking away) _Okay, yeah, cool, whatever…(eew…)

THUNDERCRACKER:_(Walks in)_ Yes, lord Megatron?

MEGATRON: You! Go send 'twin peaks' here to the nearest human settlement, and drop her off without killing her!

THUNDERCRACKER: Okay, 'Warp-_(takes a good look at Skywarp with his optics growing wider)_…What's wrong with your chassis?

SKYWARP: I dunno. Maybe they've got some kind of secret weaponry installed in these things, explains why they're so heavy. Must be lead-based.

_(Thundercracker picks Skywarp up and carries her to the lift, where he transforms into jet mode and places his humanised comrade into his cockpit)_

SKYWARP: 'Con, your seats are preeetty comfy! _(Looks around)_ Hey T.C, what's that sick smell?!

THUNDERCRACKER: What's left of Experiment: Mary Sue. She melted before we I could take off.

SKYWARP: Sick, 'con! She smells like my mom's moosebot liver stew!

THUNDERCRACKER: 'Warp, we're Transformers, we don't have 'mommies'.

SKYWARP: YOU don't have a mom, bastard! LOL!

THUNDERCRACKER: …I'm gonna squash you like a box of puppies.

SKYWARP: I'm sorry.

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A/N: Are you disturbed yet? Yeeeees…


	2. Chapter 1: ROFL

**Chapter 1: ROFL**

A/N: Shameless and proud of it!

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_(Back at the Decepticon base, where plans are made to fail…)_

HOOK: But Megatron, why send out Starscream when we already have Skywarp as an agent among the humans?

MEGATRON: Because Operation - Human Infiltration failed! And Starscream finds strange sentiment in other mech companions which I DO NOT WANT!!!

SOUNDWAVE: Skywarp forgot to wear his tracking collar.

MEGATRON: Onto Operation - Human Infiltration…TWO! But wait! I have a cunning plan!!!

SOUNDWAVE: Yay.

MEGATRON: Why waste troops when we can waste AUTOBOTS! NYAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

_(And in the Ark, a metallic eyesore buried deep in America like a fresh pulsing zit on a budding teen's face…)_

OPTIMUS PRIME: Autobots, Megatron is up to something again.

PROWL: Like what Optimus?

OPTIMUS PRIME: …I don't know.

AHRNHAHD: Is it b'cause yeu kin' FEEL it, Prahme?

OPTIMUS PRIME: Yes and no, Ahrnhahd. If Megatron's up to something, he'll let us know by announcing his plans like a child on steroids. And if he's quiet, it means he's either up to something, or he's going to announce his plans very soon.

BUMBLEBEE: You're so smart, Prime, I wish I was like you!

OPTIMUS PRIME: Shut up Bumblebee, no one cares about you.

BUMBLEBEE:'(

_(Jazz walks in, and everybody loves Jazz, except Sunstreaker (who loves himself even more) and racists. Sunstreaker's taking his love to the next step and is marrying his hand that holds his mirror. Come to the wedding, there will be a lot of mirrors.)_

JAZZ: Wassup bitches! Wanna hear the latest jig the Decepticon's are dancin' to?

OPTIMUS PRIME: Yo, wassup bro', let me in on th' word.

JAZZ: Well, seems like the Decepticrumbs got this new gizmo, and they're callin' us out for a showdown. Shall we represent?

OPTIMUS PRIME: Hells yeah. Roll call!

JAZZ: Prowl, Wheeljack, Ahrnhahd, Mirage!

AFORMENTIONED AUTOBOTS: Here!

MIRAGE: And not here! Hee hee (hee hee…) _(Disappears)_

_(Ironhide takes a swing where Mirage was standing)_

MIRAGE: OOOOH! My ding-dongs!

JAZZ: _(Looks at where Mirage stood)_ (Loser). Hound, Bluestreak, Bumblebee, Ratchet, Blaster-!

_(All the Autobot's shrink at Blaster's name)_

HOUND: B-B-Blaster?

RATCHET: Ruh-oh!

OPTIMUS PRIME: Why, what's wrong with Blaster? Is he sick?

CLIFFJUMPER: But he's a "£$& psycho!

OPTIMUS PRIME: And so are you, my paranoid friend. So he's a red, merciless battle hungry killer out for Decepticon blood-

WHEELJACK: We don't have blood-

OPTIMUS PRIME: Shut up Wheeljack-and aside from being depressed about losing his B.F.F. on Cybertron, nothing's going to stop him from committing Decepticon genocide. I'm GLAD to have in on our team!

_(Blaster walks in, and every minibot in the room wets his robot drawers)_

BLASTER: _(Wearing the blackest face on the planet)_ …Got 'cons?

_(Everyone nods enthusiastically)_

BLASTER: …Good. Let's go rape them back to Cybertron.

_(Everyone nods even more enthusiastically)_

BLUESTREAK: You can hop in my seat, Blaster!

BLASTER: Fuck off and die, pussy ass bitch.

_(Blaster transforms and lands onto Jazz's seat)_

JAZZ: Hey, man!

BLASTER: Hey.

OPTIMUS PRIME: Are we all ready now? Autobots, transform and ROLL OUT!!!

_(In the heart of…some place in America, Skywarp manages to retain his warping abilities, steal someone's currency and use a public human communication device to call the Nemesis.)_

SKYWARP: Oh 'con! Hello! Hello-!

RAVAGE: Rahr!

SKYWARP: Oh Primus, it's Ravage! 'Con, I can't take it anymore!

RAVAGE: Rahr rur?

SKYWARP: Where am I? Uh, uh…! _(Looks around)_ I dunno, 'con, but you gotta get me outta this body! I hate it! I can't live anymore as a fleshie! They're so friggin' weird! I walked by this one grooming centre, and the fleshy females, they like, put this weird helmet over they're heads, and start turning the heat up to extreme temperatures!!! YEAH! They toast their craniums for FUN! C'mon Ravage! Get Thundercracker or Dirge, or those other losers to come get me! I'm hungry, I'm tired, I'm dirty-

RAVAGE: Grrrrrrrrrr.

SKYWARP: Whaddya mean it's only been half an hour?!

RAVAGE: Hrrrh, rrrrrr.

SKYWARP: What?! Starscream too?! So he's taking the mission? COOL! Please-please-puh-leeeeeeeease, jes' get me outta here!

RAVAGE: Rahr rur?

SKYWARP: ………I DON'T SLAGGIN' KNOW WHERE I AM, RAV! Hello? HELLO?! Oh slag! The human's communication machine thingy's not working! How am I gonna get home?!!!

_(The phone booth calls, and Skywarp picks up the receiver)_

SKYWARP: _HELLO?!!!_

RAVAGE: Rrr. Rahr rur, rrrrrrr.

SKYWARP: Warp, warp…oh yeah! Yeah right! I can warp back!

RAVAGE: Hrrrr.

SKYWARP: E.T.A…? Um…well…_(Skywarp suddenly starts scheming)_ I don't know…I'll get back after doing this mission-!

RAVAGE: HRRR!!!

SKYWARP: Okay, okay! A day! But if I'm lost, then I might take…three?

RAVAGE: Rrrrh. _(Hangs up)_

SKYWARP: Stupid dog-thing…oh well…hee hee hee…I'm being all sneaky and Starscreamy!

_(Somewhere ELSE in America…wanna specific place? Huh? _HUH?!_ Fine! In London, America! A crowded city where giant robots can find space to fight!)_

OPTIMUS PRIME: Megatron, I knew it was you. Testing the Autobots morals-

BLASTER: Fuck morals, they're all gonna die anyway.

OPTIMUS PRIME: Shut up Blaster-

BLASTER: Fuck you-

OPTIMUS PRIME: -By picking a fight in the middle of all these innocent bystanders.

MEGATRON: Yes, YES! Foolish Earth-loving Autobots! AHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

OPTIMUS PRIME: And we wonder why you always lose.

MEGATRON: HAHAHAHAHA-**WHAT?!** SLAG YOU, OPTIMUS PRIME!!!

_(The two leaders and their forces continue their staring contest)_

MEGATRON: Well, what are you waiting for?!

OPTIMUS PRIME: I'm not an evil instigating hater of everything, Megs.

MEGATRON: My name is not MEGS!!!

OPTIMUS PRIME: Decepticons, attack?

MEGATRON: (Oh, right, yeah)…DECEPTICONS, _ATTAAAACK!!!_

_(All the Decepticons charge with their inevitable failure in mind)_

MEGATRON: Soundwave, eject all your tapes so you can be on stand-by to hold me!

SOUNDWAVE: Megatron: superior. Hugging: questionable.

MEGATRON: In gun mode, you stupid fool!

OPTIMUS PRIME: Someone needs a hug.

MEGATRON: FUCK OFF, PRIME!!!

OPTIMUS PRIME: Sissy-con!

_(Megatron transforms into Soundwave's hands and starts crying to himself)_

MEGATRON: (Boo-hoo, he called me a sissy-)!

SOUNDWAVE: Do not compute.

MEGATRON: (Boo-hoo-hoo) -DIE, **PRIME!!!!**

OPTIMUS PRIME: _(Dodging laser fire)_ Ne-yope.

_(Meanwhile, in non-flying car mode, Prowl's…on the prowl for the super secret thingamajig which might cause the downfall of the Autobot's if it weren't for their immense luck or the limitless bungling the Decepticon's cause as they get owned by some miraculous macguffin-)_

PROWL: Prime, I've located the Decepticon's device, and-

THUNDERCRACKER: _(Carrying a plot inducing device)_ Heyas.

_(Suddenly, Prowl sees a blinding light and get's zapped by the device in Thundercracker's hands! DA DA DU---N!!!)_

PROWL: What the-?!

_(A human female appears before Prowl, and laughs at him dressed in an evening gown...in the __**afternoon!!!**_

SEXY WOMAN: Wa ha ha ha ha!!! Did you think I won't see you, Prowl?!

PROWL: You-! Who are you-?! But I snuck in so stealthily-

SEXY BITCH: YOU WERE THE ONLY VECHICLE THAT WASN'T FLEEING THE CITY, YOU STUPID DOOFUS!

THUNDERCRACKER: _(Nods)_ Word.

PROWL: …Or that. What the fu-?!!!

_(Prowl looks at his hands…covered in skin! He checks his feet to find…stylish leather knee high boots! His optics! Shielded by large blue shades to protect from the wind and other particles floating in the air!)_

PROWL: _(Wearing movie-styled police attire)_ I-…I'm HUMAN!!!

SEXY BITCH: E--------D ZACHERY!!!!! NYA HA HA HA HAHA!!!

PROWL: I don't know who you are, familiar looking woman with a familiar sounding cackle, but you'll not get away with helping the Decepticons!

SEXY BITCH: Oh, but we will…

_(The woman starts talking to her communication device strapped to her hand, just like Dick Tracy, but with boobs)_

SEXY BITCH: Megatron, we've got Optimus Prime's most valued strategist in, my, CUSTODY!

THUNDERCRACKER: I'm just a mindless filler carrying this delicate piece of machinery that will affect our near futures.

MEGATRON: Eeeeeexcellent Starscream!

PROWL: STARSCREAM!

STARSCREAM: In the fleshy flesh!

MEGATRON: We've got what we came for! Bring the Autobot to me and we can take off!

STARSCREAM: You mean retreat.

MEGATRON: Nooo, I mean, run in the opposite direction of the Autobots.

PROWL: Pussy.

MEGATRON: Who said that?!

STARSCREAM: Thundercracker, grab him and-AAAAH!!!!

_(Prowl mauls Starscream standing in front of him, and they both wrestle with no sexual innuendos, until Prowl accidentally breaks the device on Starscream's wrist)_

STARSCREAM: No…NO!!! You stupid fool! Now I-!

THUNDERCRACKER: _(Whistling to himself) _Here comes the Fallen, here comes the Fallen, right down Inferno lane…

STARSCREAM: HELP ME YOU IDIOT!

_(Suddenly, Optimus Prime's large muddy feet roll into view, followed by Megatron's cheesy-smelling tootsies. The two Transformer-turned-attractive-humans quickly dodge their respective leader's robo-toe jam)_

OPTIMUS PRIME: You'll never win, you energon alcoholic!

MEGATRON: Your MOTHER!

PROWL: Prime-! _(Get's punched in the face by Starscream)_

STARSCREAM: Megatron, I got-!

_(Not expecting two violent Transformers to tumble into view, Thundercracker does the smartest thing and drops the device that turned Prowl and Starscream into humans)_

THUNDERCRACKER: Oops.

STARSCREAM: SLAAAAG!!!!_ (Watching two pairs of human-death-causing feet lumbering above their heads)_ …LEGGIT!

PROWL: Right after you!

_(Starscream and Prowl quickly run for cover)_

MEGATRON: Thundercracker, you fool! Now we'll never be able to turn the other Autobots into pink cockroaches! Decepticons, RETREAAAAT!!!!

CLIFFJUMPER: Yeah, fuck off!!!!

_(Megatron and the Decepticons fly away, leaving the Autobots triumphant)_

OPTIMUS PRIME: We've saved the day once again, Autobots.

BLASTER: …('Cept for the humans who found their way underneath my feet).

JAZZ: An' the gaping plot holes in the wake-

OPTIMUS PRIME: (You said nothing Jazz be quiet-) Autobots, transform, and roll for home.

JAZZ: But what about the roll-call-

OPTIMUS PRIME: Aaw, Jazz, don't worry. We won't be missing anyone.

_(The Autobot's drive off, leaving Starscream and Prowl behind)_

PROWL: Oh…OH SHIT!

STARSCREAM: You said it!

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A/N: DA _DA __**DUNNNNN!!!**_ What will happen next?! Revelations? Drama? Surprise butt sex? Find out more, when I give a fuck!

Btw, the capital of America is Washington D.C., NOT London! If anyone didn't know. It's a joke…I'M REALLY BAD AT GEOGRAPHY, OKAY?! DON'T TOUCH ME!!!


End file.
